Fights in Relationships: How to Handle Heated Arguments

Updated: Nov 2, 2021


Conflicts are unavoidable because no matter how alike couples are, they do not process life in the same way. These differences can result in disagreements and if left unchecked, it can result in deterioration of the relationship and perhaps eventually a breakup. The good news is that while arguments are inevitable, there are ways to do them healthily and overcome them.


Is Arguing Healthy in a Relationship?

Disagreeing is not detrimental to your relationship and is just a part of life. However, the way couples fight can lead to the end of the relationship. To ensure you argue healthily, create an atmosphere where you and your partner feel comfortable when you both express yourselves. Exercise your maturity, which means never resort to calling names, criticizing simple mistakes, or breaking established boundaries.


Once you communicate your thoughts and feelings with one another, you will both get relief from your frustrations. Working through your emotions increases trust. Additionally, you will get to know more about each other when you express yourself.


What Are the Common Reasons Why Couples Argue?

If you and your partner argue often, it’s important to determine the root cause. This is the first step to resolving your disagreement. Here are some common causes of fights in relationships:


– Making a Big Deal Out of Nothing

Your feelings are valid, but it’s vital to figure out why you feel that way. For instance, you have to notice and acknowledge if you tend to start a fight over trivial things. This is usually the case for simple things like your partner failing to make the bed or throwing the trash away. Most of the time, it’s not worth it making a big deal out of these little issues, so you have to address them before they get serious.


– High Expectations

Don’t expect perfection or constant joy from your partner and relationship since this is unrealistic. Long-term relationships will not be all rainbow and sunshine day in and day out. Real-life involves boredom, frustration and monotony so accepting that will help you to last in the relationship. There are also other factors that are out of your control and do not have anything to do with you that can affect your partner’s mood, so try not to personalize these things.


– Being Irresponsible

Being married involves sharing responsibilities with your partner. Unfortunately, many partners tend to underestimate how refusing to do household chores can hurt their marriage. If you are guilty of not doing your share of housework, it’s vital to acknowledge your shortcomings. You can resolve this by dividing chores fairly and making sure you accomplish them.


How Do You Handle Arguments in a Relationship?

Many people constantly walk on eggshells and even change themselves just to please their partners and avoid arguments. However, when couples don’t fight, they often settle for stagnancy. To deal with disputes healthily, here are some tips to consider:


– Watch Your Language

Use kind language with your partner, no matter how bad the situation is since speaking disrespectfully will only worsen the circumstances. It’s also essential to use “I” statements when communicating with your partner. For example, instead of saying, “You always ignore me,” tell them, “I feel ignored.”


– Use Eye Contact and Hold Hands

It’s incredible how much these simple shifts can bring you closer to your partner and help you to see their perspective during an argument. Anything that can help you love and be loved is a good thing. Practice doing this when things are calm and set the intention together to use these strategies during an argument.


Conclusion

There is no perfect relationship. It takes time and effort to truly understand and forgive one another. While arguments are bound to happen, it’s crucial to learn how to fight healthily and overcome these problems. If you need further help in strengthening your relationship and making compromises consider seeking couples counselling.


Ward & Associates Psychological Services is a psychological clinic that offers couples counselling in Sherwood Park and nearby areas. We also provide counselling services via video for clients in Alberta. Book an appointment today!

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