Updated: Oct 7, 2021
Failure is something that we all experience and our success in life depend on how we deal with it. Those who are seemingly unfazed by failure view these disappointments as minor roadblocks and not as unconquerable challenges. This type of mindset is the key to long-term success, no matter what curveballs life throws at you.
Those who manage failure well do not become like this overnight. They have experienced their fair share of disappointments and seemingly impossible challenges and they developed a resilient mindset over time. Usually, this begins in childhood.
7 Key Traits That Are Present in Resilient Children
Child experts have pinpointed seven key characteristics that resilient children have in common. Here is a summary of what they are:
1) They are Competent
Competence is more than just having a good grasp of the lessons they learn in school. This pertains to how children master new things and go on to trying to learn new and more difficult endeavours. Whenever they complete a new challenge, it will give them the urge to try for more. Even if they fail, they will keep at it until they finally reach their goal!
2) They are Confident
Trying to accomplish difficult things will require confidence. Confidence is built through facing new challenges, figuring them out, falling, getting back up and trying again. Confidence is not something we’re born with…it grows out of taking action and not giving up.
3) They Feel Secure
Usually, children who are resilient will have strong emotional connections to their families. Their confidence and resilience will be fueled partly by the emotional connections that they have with others. Knowing that their close friends and family members will support them even if they may fail will give them the strength to try.
4) They Manage Their Emotions Well
Children who are resilient are taught that emotions are not a bad thing and that it’s OK to feel the entire spectrum of emotions. They learn to feel their feelings and then move on when the feeling passes. This is a skill that many people in our society lack, as we are highly avoidant of emotions in general.
5) They Contribute
Resilient children are contributors. They know how their actions affect the situation as a whole and are aware that they can either positively or negatively contribute to the outcome of a situation.
6) They are Able to Cope
Children who know how to deal with failure easily cope with sometimes not being able to succeed. Sure, they may feel disappointed and sad at first, but they are able to cope with the situation and try again. They learn that failure is an important part of life and not something to be avoided.
7) They Just Keep Going
A child who is confident and resilient will also go through difficult times. Children who are resilient allow themselves to feel the disappointment that is natural when things go sideways, then they take charge of their thoughts and behaviour. They acknowledge that it’s up to them to try again and it’s a matter of getting up, brushing themselves off and getting started again!
Children who have these seven characteristics and traits will grow up to be adults who will be able to laugh in the face of failure and have the courage to get up and try it again. If you want your children to gain these traits, constant encouragement and support from you and the rest of your family is a must. On the other hand, if you feel that your children lack these traits, or if you feel that they need that extra push to be able to gain resilience and confidence, taking them for therapy may be a good idea.
Should you be interested in having therapy for your child, come to Ward and Associates Psychological Services. We are a psychological clinic in Sherwood Park. We offer video counselling in Sherwood Park and anywhere in AB. Contact us and let us help your child gain the confidence to face anything life throws at them.